On Christmas day, a student named Mahdi posted on Twitter: "The harsh truth is that you are all living your lives while no one truly sees us."
He pointed out how we are in our homes with our families, sleeping at night, going to work the next day, letting our lives continue on normally.
"But for us, there is no life. No one notices as we starve, we die, we burn, and are torn apart. To them it makes no difference."
I said that I understood why he felt this way. But I also told him that "many of us exist in two worlds, unable to be fully present in our lives, overwhelmed by emotion and grief and pain at not being able to stop this." I told him we carry this with us everywhere, in all that we do. I told him he mattered to us, always. And others echoed what I was trying to express.
This morning I attended an online event hosted by a Doctors Against Genocide, a global coalition of healthcare workers who are "dedicating to succeeding where governments have failed in confronting and preventing genocide, war crimes, and crimes against humanity."
One of the speakers, Dr. Asfia Qaadir, spoke about "genocide sickness," which she said affects all of humanity and is caused by genocide. And she validated those of us who are experiencing physical and psychological distress and health symptoms, explaining that this distress response is normal and natural, that it indicates that we have refused to disconnect and turn away from our humanity, despite pressure around us to do so. She talked about the mental and physical effects on our health and bodies that occur as a result of this intense moral injury and moral distress.
Some of the symptoms include: memory problems; being in a constant state of heightened anxiety and panic; frequent nightmares; increase in chronic pain conditions, cardiovascular illnesses, and inflammatory conditions--all of which can contribute to suppressing our immune systems, making us more susceptible to illness and sickness, which also makes it much harder to recover from illness.
She acknowledged how spaces of genocide denial are also hostile spaces--hostile to our bodies; hostile to our humanity. And how when we work and live in these spaces where we are pressured to disconnect from what is happening and deny our own reactions, the distress we are already experiencing is exacerbated.
When I wrote earlier about how and why I was updating this site, I talked about the trauma and profound harm caused by violence committed against people, animals, and the earth, and the trauma and harm of witnessing such horrors while being unable to immediately stop them and end the suffering.
Tomorrow, Monday January 6, 2025, medical workers and those who have been made sick and who are impacted by the ongoing genocide in Gaza and Palestine will be taking a mental health sick leave day to "grieve, heal, and organize."
They will be reflecting on:
"...the immense moral injury of funding
a genocide and engage in the most important aspect of treatment: publicly demanding an end to
the genocide in Gaza. January 6 itself will be a national and Global Day of Action, with
demonstrations, pickets, and free clinics to advocate for an end to the genocide. Organizers
will post on social media using #SickFromGenocide."
--January 5, 2025